Thief

Thief. That’s what I am. I love to look at other peoples blogs. Yesterday I stumbled across a site called SITS (check it out- the link’s on the side bar) that led me to an entry by their blogger of the day.   Pseudonymous high school teacher-  blogged her high school students at the beginning of class. I loved it. It reminded me of when my kids come home. They all show-up within a pretty short time span with URGENT needs. Actually, it’s pretty chaotic. Especially when we add daycare kids to the mix. This conversation starts when my third and fourth child walked in. I only put about 10 minutes of conversation here. Trust me you couldn’t handle more. I knew it’d be good. I’m putting it in the form of a script so it’ll be less confusing for you. Enjoy my “yesterday afternoon”.

(I’m using my kids middle names so only family will know which are brattier than others.)

Lance: Mom I hungry.
Michael: Geesh, can’t you even say hi to mom before you start asking her for things? Hi mom.
Me: Hi guys. I’ll come get you a snack in just a minute. I'm finishing up this resume for PCS.
Lance: I’m really hungry I don’t think a snack’s going to do it. When’s dinner?
Me: Not until 6:00. (Michael is very put off by his brothers persistence.) Phone rings.
Marie: (Looking out the window) Mom Daultin’s dad’s here. (30 minutes early).
Lance: What’s for dinner?
Me: Taco soup.
Me: Come on Daultin let’s get your coat and lunch box.
Nicole: Mom, Isabelle’s on the phone for you. (My one child not home yet.)
Me: Tell her I’ll be there in just a minute.
Lance: Can’t you get me something now? You’re already in the kitchen.
Me: You can see I have something to do. I told you you'll have to wait a minute.
Lance: Breathes loud very put out by my lack of concern for his near death experience with anorexia.
Nicole: Mom, Isabelle says she’s in a hurry.
Me: Tell her so am I.
Me: (To daycare dad) Sorry, lot’s going on. He had a good day. Then to Daultin, By sweetie, I’ll see you tomorrow (Which was totally wrong, he doesn’t come on Friday’s). Bye. I see them out the door. I run to phone.
Me: Hey, what’s up?
Isabelle: Instead of riding the other bus I was wondering if I can stay and try out for the talent show with Jasmine cause we decided we’ll do the song we’re doing together for festival and Mrs. Forman said she’ll play for us and I think we’ll make it for sure cause we sound better than anyone else so far and I know you can’t get me easy with daycare so I’ll get a ride with Jasmine and it’ll be okay even though you don’t know them because I promise they’re really nice and Jasmine always talks about Jesus so I know they are good and I really want to do this mom, pleas-o, pleas-o, pleas-o, pleas-o………………………(She talks a mile a minute and everything is one sentence just like I wrote it.)

Marie:  Mom, Daultin's back, he says he needs a hug.

Me:  Come in here Daultin.
Me: What time will you be done?
Isabelle: 4:30.
Me: If I let you stay do you promise you’ll work on your 13th Article of Faith when you get home?

Isabelle: Yes I promise.

Daultin:  Can I do a run and hug?

Me:  Just a second Isabelle.  Okay Daultin (as I brace myself against the table- he runs jumps at me and hugs me)

Daultin:  I love you.

Me:  Love you too hon.  See you tomorrow.  (I scoot him toward the door, then to Isabelle I say)
I’ll be there to get you at 4:30. Please be out front so we don’t have to get out and come find you.   I’ll be in a hurry.
Isabelle: Okay, thanks mom. Love you.
Me: Love you too, bye.

Jamie:  When I go can I do a run and hug too?

Me:  Yes, we do that everyday right?

Jamie:  Uh-huh.
Me: You can all have these cookies and some milk.
Lance: Seriously mom, that’s not going to be enough. I need something more.
Me: Then have an apple or carrot sticks.
Lance: Mom!
Me: You aren’t hungry, you want to load up on a bunch of crap right before dinner.
Lance: Dinner won’t be ready for 2 hours.
Me: You can always eat Top Ramen.
Nicole: Mom do I have volleyball tonight?
Lance: Be quiet I was talking to mom.
Nicole: Don’t tell me to be quiet.
Me: Both of you be quiet please. Talk nicer to each other. Yes, you have volleyball tonight. No, I will not find anything else for you to eat. You have a big enough selection.
Nicole: Do you think dad will come cause they’re going to let the parents play and he’s really good and no offense but last time when you played you didn’t really do that good.
Me: Oh, well then make sure you ask your dad. I don’t want you to be embarrassed.
Marie: That probably hurt mom’s feelings Nicole.
Me: Actually it wasn’t very tactful, but right now I don’t think I care.
Michael: I need you to sign some papers for tennis.
Marie: Oh and I need you to sign my agenda.
Me: Bring them here. Nicole, why aren’t you doing study time?
Nicole: Oh, I forgot.
Marie: My orchestra teacher said that she paid for my group to perform at festival on Saturday and now my group can’t go so she wants $1 from each of us.
Me: Excuse me?
Marie: Don’t worry, I told her since it was everyone else in the group that cancelled I shouldn’t have to pay for it and she agreed.
Me: Why didn’t she ask us if you could do something on a Saturday before she paid for it? (I hate these types of things- It’s the principle)
Marie: I don’t know.
Nicole: Can you read this tongue twister really fast?
Me: Bed Spreaders spread spreads on beds. Bread Spreaders spread butters on breads. And that Bed Spreader better watch out how he’s spreading or that Bread Spreader’s sure going to butter his bedding.
Nicole: No. Fast.