My Near Death and Other Horrifying Experiences

I've had a few opportunities recently, to share a couple experiences where I almost lost my life.  I thought I'd get them in writing type so that my grandchildren will be amazed at how my life was spared- since my children just laugh at me and don't find the miracle in this.   

A couple weeks ago, I was in my backyard, sitting on the little rock wall to my raised flower garden pulling weeds.  I glanced down just as a deadly gopher snake decided to play footsie with me!  I froze for about .2 seconds and then I freaked out.  You've seen those cat and cucumber videos?  I could have been in one of them.  Except I'm not a cat.  And that snake isn't a cucumber.  I moved.  Fast.  But I couldn't scream.  I was too freaked out for that.  Evidently I didn't need to scream to get Kevin's attention.  My incredible gymnastics moves did the trick and he came running.  He tried to catch the snake for me but it was too quick.  It kept poking it's little head out of the rocks, taunting us.  Then as my very brave husband's hand would  start closing in, the little devil incarnate would disappear back into the rocks.  Kevin was kind enough to switch me ends of the flower garden.  I broke out in the heeby-jeeby dance every few seconds.  I still do from time to time if I think about it to much.  I finished weeding the part of the garden with the hyacinths- which I'm allergic to.  Because anaphylactic shock is a much better option than that kind of adrenalin ovedose-which, by the way, can stop your heart!  Kevin kept assuring me that gopher snakes are not deadly.  I love that man and appreciate how he tried to protect me but how on earth did he miss that heart attacks take lives?!  

This experience reminds me of another snake run in I had when I was 16.  I was swinging with a 2 year old on my lap.  My bother caught a dead snake floating down the canal which went along the side of the yard we were in.  Of course, he didn't tell me that it was dead.  He ran up to us and chucked it at me!  It went right around my throat!  Of course, thinking it was alive, I chucked that poor little girl out of the swing and wrestled the dead snake off my throat before I was killed.  I felt really bad about throwing that little girl.  Fortunately, she was too surprised to cry.  Now I like to think  pretend that I was just trying to save her life as well.  

Speaking of this brother, whose name is Shane.  When I was 9 or 10 we visited California.  We were enjoying a beach one afternoon when my brother started chasing me around with a jellyfish.  He caught me and rubbed that jello-filled-plastic-glove all over my arms and legs.  I'm sure he loved my screams and cries.  Everybody sat there staring at me playing an amazing role of drama queen, not realizing I was actually being stung.  Some stranger who saw it all go down, ran over and grabbed me and threw me in the ocean and started scrubbing me down with sand.  I picture my parents standing there like, is that stranger trying to drown our daughter?  I'd like to think my dad would have saved me once he was over the shock.

On Survivor when someone gets stung by a jelly fish, they have other contestants pee on them.  I'll be forever grateful this man didn't use that method!

So there you are dear future grandchildren.  Your grandmother has been saved over and over from the hands (or slithery-nasty bodies) of natures freakiest predators.  Miracles do exist! 

Food Fight!

I remember school lunches.  I admit I thought I got the short end of the stick throughout elementary school.  In reality I was probably just ungrateful for my mom who got up at the crack of dawn and made me a lunch that typically included a peanut butter or tuna sandwich, often on homemade bread, chopped carrot sticks, a baggie full of plain Lays potato chips and a dime for a milk.  I wanted to be like the kids who got wonder bread, ding-dongs and little bags of Doritos - or even better the kids who got enough money to purchase a hot lunch.  I loved when it was my classes turn to help in the lunch room.  That meant I got to eat the yummy homemade foods.  It was a double bonus if I served the same day we ate turkey fricassee with chocolate peanut butter bars.  Mmm...I still love chocolate and peanut butter.

Somewhere along the way schools went to processed foods.  When my kids were in elementary I did daycare and was on the state food program.  What I served was regulated from food groups to varieties.  It bothered me that my daycare kids would eat so well and I'd send my kids to school where they'd eat cookies for breakfast and fried corndogs and french fries for lunch.  Finally, someone tried to do something about it.  Michelle Obama stepped in and tried to take care of the childhood obesity problem by legislating eating habits.

Her plan was flawed from the beginning.  Yep, I just jumped right in there.  No matter how much I think schools should be serving healthy foods you can't force people.  Her thought was that by forcing kids to take healthy foods they'd learn to eat them.  That's not what's happened.  Healthy foods are being served, healthy foods are being put on the trays, and healthy foods are going in the garbage.  Let me explain what I've seen.

I've been job coaching at a local middle school.  I'm helping a couple of awesome special needs adults learn how to work in a job place.  They tend the recycling line.  The kids bring all their wasted food through this line.  The first day I was there I was shocked.  When I got home I told Kevin that we could feed a third world country with all the food being wasted.  On my way to work I turned on the radio and caught the tail end of a news report saying that Michelle Obama says (paraphrased) that while there used to be a lot of waste there isn't so much anymore because her program is catching on.  I literally laughed out loud.  When I got to the school I mentioned it to the head of maintenance (who dumps all the food).  His name is Tim.  (I'll put his last name in tomorrow.  I forgot the spelling.)  He was appalled and when he found out I was going to blog about the subject he asked me to quote him, saying, "I've worked here for 7 years and in the years that have followed the implementation of the healthy food regulations the waste has never decreased.  The only difference is that now the kids realize they don't have to actually try the foods I don't have to pick up bites of apple off of the ground."  He also said that he throws away between 150 and 200 lbs. of food per day.  That is only food.  No containers or other garbage as that's all recycled.

We decided to keep track of a few things today.  Here are the results.  Tim dumped 7 gallons of milk/chocolate milk.  We counted 41 unopened milks (not included in the 7 gallons).  We were unable to count all the whole apples and oranges and pears that were put in the garbage, there were too many coming too fast but my guess is a little over 60.  They have these wonderful salads made of spinach, bacon, cheese and strawberries, similar to the pre-made large sized salads at Walmart but add a roll.  They dumped 11 of them- literally untouched.  Only the rolls were eaten.  He dumped 6 bags at approximately 30 lbs. each- 180 lbs.  (I should mention that he dumped 1 bag a day before the regulations.)  As I watched kids throw away almost completely untouched lunches I wanted to ask them why they even bothered to take it.  Of course I know the answer.  They HAVE to.

Forcing kids to take food they don't want doesn't change their eating habits.  My husband remembers "having" to take a helping of the detested peas at the dinner table.  He did all sorts of tricks not to eat them.  He did everything from hiding them in his underwear (thank heavens for tighty whities, right?) to throwing them under the table hoping the dog would lap them up before his mom found them.  He'd still rather eat rocks than peas.  Making him take them didn't eventually teach him to love peas.  

How about this for a suggestion.  Instead of spending 12 billion dollars a year on food that's largely wasted, put out less of the nutritious food and give kids a choice of whether or not to take it.  If they really want those strawberries and the lasagna but not the other 2 fruit/veggies and the milk, then let them do that.  With the money they save they can provide some fun PE classes so the kids are moving more, still helping the childhood obesity problem.

What frightens me is that we're teaching something and it's not good eating habits.  It's that it's okay to waste.  Can you imagine what the people of India or Ethiopia would do for that food?  How much of it do you think they would waste?  Heck, I'd rather send the excess to feed our own hungry than watch this waste happen with no responsibility.  On infoplease.com it says we have 98,817 schools in the US.  I'm unable to find the average US student enrollment but if I count our local middle school which is approximately 828, as the average size let's see what happens.  We'll also go low and say we would only waste 100 lbs. of food each day, for each school.  The US state average minimum days of school is 180.  So 98,817 schools x 180days x  100 lbs. of food = 1,778,706,000 lbs. of food wasted in the public schools each year.  This doesn't include summer school or the waste of the foods thrown out that's not wasted by kids (like the salad bars and all the extra entrees etc.).  That's sad!  It's infuriating, irresponsible and it shows a lack of gratitude not to mention that it's tainted with a sense of entitlement. I wonder how many pounds of food almost 2 billion pounds could feed?

I'd love to hear you "weigh in" on this matter.  I don't mind listening to opposing views but please keep it respectful.

When Age Appropriate Isn't Appropriate

A few years ago I wrote a blog on Browning Dirt about our foster son Tim 

and how I interact with him.  I've decided to re-post it here and add some new information at the end.  I'd love to hear your opinion on the subject.

Goodnight My Someone

A few weeks ago I saw something that touched my heart. We know of a sweet 23 year old girl I’ll call Joni, who’s developmentally disabled, and one of the cutest people you could meet. I was driving into Wal-Mart one morning when I saw her standing backwards on the end of a shopping cart, one arm in the air, one holding tight to the cart as her father sailed her through the parking lot, pushing the cart as fast as he could go. What I really loved was the expression on both of their faces. Pure exhilaration and joy. It was such a beautiful moment. I was glad to be a part of it, even if it was just as a spectator.

I’ve become aware, over the last couple years, of a little controversy surrounding the developmentally disabled (dd) adult community. There are some professionals who believe the MR/DD should be treated /spoken to, the same as others in their age group, giving them the opportunity to feel as their peers do - like grown ups, people who are respected and expected to learn and grow, to promote independence and achieve their highest learning potential.

Others feel that the MR/DD should be treated/ spoken to like those in their developmental age for clearer understanding, less agitating pressure, so the focus is more on the individual’s confidence and happiness rather than on performance.

I noticed these differences in his school teachers, therapists, the nurse who does home visits and then again when my sister in law, who’s the head of the special needs dept. at the school she works for in New York, visited last summer.

Some talk to Tim like he’s an adult, some like a child. His developmental stage is 18 mo’s to 3 yrs. Our family tends to talk to him more as a child than an adult. It wasn’t until my sister-in-law asked my mother-in-law why we do that and it got back to me that I thought it was an issue. Up to this point I thought it was more about the personality of the person doing the talking.

I asked Tim’s developmental behavioral doctor, which was correct? He let me know there is a controversy surrounding the issue. His personal belief, especially in Tim’s case, is the second, the way our family had been behaving toward Tim. This was his reasoning: In Tim’s case he doesn’t have the capability of becoming an independent member of society. While it’s good to have him work on a few goals, give him opportunities for new adventures and learning, the focus should be more about making sure his life is full of love and things he likes to do when possible, as long as that doesn’t get in the way of his physical care. In other words, let Tim watch Toy Story instead of pushing him to shred paper or put together a puzzle. He is different than a typical 19 yr. old who is preparing himself for working in society and becoming independent.  As for speaking to him, his doctor again agreed with the way we have been doing it. This part because Tim responds better and seems to thrive more.  Perhaps if his situation was different so would this opinion.

I’ve thought about this from time to time but when I saw the elation on Joni’s face while her father pushed her through the parking lot on that cart it just sealed the information into place. She was able to enjoy being a kid. It’s her body that’s 23, not her mind, not her emotions. She was thriving in this moment.

Now I think of the happiest times of Tim’s days. They’re easy to pin point.

1. Time to go bye-bye. Tim loves riding in cars.

2. Music. He can dance like no other. His signature-move we call the Lash, it’s very difficult to imitate.

3. Bedtime. He runs up the stairs laughing, arms flailing much like Joni on the shopping cart.

Tim’s night-time routine is much like a child’s and ends with prayers and song. 

It’s no secret I love to sing. I sang to my children at bedtime and now I sing to Tim. He lays down but doesn’t touch his head to his pillow until I start to sing. He waits for the song like a cue. 

I started out singing random lullaby’s when he first came to live with us. Then Tim heard the song Goodnight My Someone from the musical The Music Man and by his reaction I new this needed to become a nightly tradition. It’s “his” song. Tim’s expression during the song is priceless, it’s an expression of peace, of happiness, of enjoyment, of love. The only time of day I see that face and I love it. I love knowing that he loves it. He may not be sailing through the air, but he’s sailing in life. He’s happy and healthy. He’s thriving in his moment.

Back to 2012

 In Idaho, agencies who provide services for the Developmentally Disabled DD are required to provide activities, among other things, that are "age appropriate."   They completely missed the whole fact that we're  working with people who don't fit into normal categories.  Let me give you a hypothetical:  A woman who is 60 in years but 2-3 developmentally is not allowed to watch movies she enjoys like Disney Princess movies or Toy Story.
If she wants to watch a movie it would have to be "age appropriate".  

What's age appropriate could potentially scare and confuse or just completely bore her.  

Can you picture her watching movies laden with sex or violence?  

Now, for clarification, I'm not required to follow this in my home but I am at work, no matter our feelings about it.  If a 60 year old woman wants to play with a doll it's deemed as inappropriate.  But we can give her knitting needles or a news paper (not that we do- we're a little more creative than that).  Now, I want to clarify, I'm not including all DD in my observations.  For instance, (another hypothetical) Let's say a 25 year old young man is closer to a 9-10 year old in development.  

He understands that he's different and wants to fit in more with others his age.  

Certainly, this is a time where age appropriate is more appropriate.
 It won't matter how long I'm in this field.  

My feelings are logical, I won't change my mind on this.

GROSS-ology

I am writing this blog with my 13 year old daughter, Jessica.  One, so I can spend time with an awesome girl.  Two, so I get this story right.  I found out some rather shocking information about one of her classes tonight.  I'm not sure if shock or amusement is stronger right now.  As she told me about this last class I caught myself listening with my mouth hanging wide enough that I could have doubled as a mailbox, I'm sure.  I couldn't shut it either.  With each sentence I grew more stunned.

She has a class called Grossology.  Ever heard of that?  It's exactly what it what it sounds like.  Last week they studied barf.   They ground up Raisin Bran, oats, applesauce, Hershey's chunks and warmed it up.  So it was true to vomit temperature, then they ate it.  No, I'm not kidding.  And it doesn't end there.

A few days later they studied poo.  You heard me- POO!  They categorized animal feces and used real food comparisons.  Evidently, elk poo looks a lot like coconut covered marshmallows.  Mouse poop was chocolate sprinkles.  Rat dung is similar to black jelly beans.  Rabbit poop was brown M&Ms.  Jack rabbit however was chocolate covered raisins.  Beaver crap looks like Tootsie-rolls.  Deer poop- Hershey's kisses.  Human poo?  You guessed it, Baby Ruths.  Then the kids were given samples of each in a dog poop waste bag.  Mmm, a real treat.

The school officer came in as a guest speaker and told them a story of how he solved a burglary case using human waste.  Rather than telling you the whole story let me just give you some advice.  1.  If ever you decide to burglarize anyone don't use the toilet unless you plan on wiping and flushing.  2.  When the officer asks you to "spread 'em", ask for a court order.

What are your kids learning in school?  Maybe you should ask.

First Missionary Experience (well, while on his mission)

Maybe I'm just a proud mom but I was very excited to hear the news from Elder Browning (AKA Kalten) this week.  First let me say that last week was his first week in Ohio.  He got there and had no investigators and only taught one first discussion.  They did a lot of tracting but his spirits seemed up.  He asked us to pray with him and his companion regarding their situation.  Of course we joined him and his companion in this.  This is part of what he wrote this yesterday:


So this week was a lot better.  First we met a family of four, and then an elderly lady named Beverly, and then a pastor for the Lutheran church and his family of 5. We now have a many more investigators.  The pastor said he used the Book of Mormon in his last sermon and we laughed about that.  We also went on exchanges and we went to an investigator's (one of the other elder's investigators) house. He has had 8 sets of missionaries come teach him but he wouldn't commit to baptism. He is in his 60's I think.  So we said hi and I introduced myself then we talked for about 30 minutes and I told him that he needs to be baptized on October 13.  He said ok. I don't think that the spirit has ever gone through me like it did there.  After the lesson Elder Heins (the elder I went on exchanges with) told me that he went with the intention of dropping him as a investigator because nothing was working and he wasn't progressing at all. It was pretty cool.

I'm excited for Kalten.  I love hearing about his first experiences and can't wait to hear about many more.

Fireworks!

It's taken a few day to get to the computer but I've been I wanted to blog about something I can't quit chuckling about, so here I am.  Better late than never.

On the 4th of July our family went to Meridian Speedway to see the races and then the fireworks.  We ended up sitting by another family that we didn't know, who have a "cute" boy Jessica's age.  Now, it's no secret that Jessica is a gorgeous girl.  I'm pretty sure I can say that truthfully even though there's a possibility of  prejudiceness. (I think I just made up that word, but it does make sense so I'm keeping it- Hey, George Bush had strategery.)  Well, the girls talked to this boy all evening.  There was some appropriate flirting going on- both ways but it was all good.  UNTIL.....

The lights in the stadium went off and the fireworks display started and Jessica heared, "This is so romantic." as something grabbed her hand.  She wasn't expecting it so she used that hand to reach down and grab her Gatorade.  Inside her head she was wondering how the relationship went from friendly flirting with someone she hardly knew to him wanting to hold her hand- which was a big deal to her.  She told me that she didn't know what to do.  She was trying to get her older sisters' attention, but they were watching the fireworks, so she prayed.  She's usually a level headed girl.  She says she wanted to say, we're only 13 but couldn't bring herself to talk out loud.  Lol.  I love it.  Anyway, the boy decided to make one more move.  He scooted a little closer and started to lean in when Neicia looked over, saw what was happening and noticed Jessica's 'pleading for help' look.  She stood up and said, "Alright you two," and wedged herself into Jessica's spot.  Go Neicia!  The boy was mad at Neicia after that.  Which didn't faze her.  What a good sister, happy to help.  I'm proud of both of my girls.

TICK-tock

This morning I played the waiting game while brushing off the heebie-jeebies.

At 5:30 Jessica asked me to look at something that was bothering her head during the night.  After moving all that hair out of the way I found that she had a TICK!  {Shudder}  Seriously?  We've lived here for over 7 years now and never seen a single tick.  In just the past week the dog has had one, McKenna found one in her hair, and now Jessica had one.  Where are they coming from?  Anyway, I was hesitant to take this out of her head.  Let me explain why.

MedicineNet.com

Kevin had heard that you are supposed to light a match and touch it to the tick and they'll back out of the skin. So when I found the tick on the dog that's what we did.  Guess what happened?  Jasper's hair got singed, and the tick died-burned to death before it backed it's ugly little head out.  I wasn't doing that with Jessica so I got online to see what to do.  Before I ever found how to safely remove the tick I read about Lyme disease, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, Tularemia, and even bio-terrorism as well as a whole bunch of things NOT to do when attempting to remove it.  Yeah, I probably should have done a narrower search in the beginning.  By 5:45 I was freaked.  I told her we'd go to the doctor when the office opened at 8am and let him do it.  I didn't add "so I don't inadvertently kill you."  I don't know how but she went back to sleep.  Not me, I kept checking the clock, brushing off imaginary ticks, checking the clock, checking my head, checking the clock checking my skin, checking the clock, checking my bed, checking the clock...you get the picture.  I could imagine it sucking her blood and it kind of TICKed me off.  

Finally, we went to the doctor.  It was one of the better experiences I've had.  We went straight to the urgent care that's in the same clinic as our pediatrician.  They checked and sure enough the kids doctor was available right then.  We only waited about 3 minutes.  I kind of felt bad for the other 10-15 people in the waiting room, but not enough to give our spot to them.  After all, a living creature stuck in your head, sucking your blood seems more urgent than a sneeze, right?  No one looked like they were too bad off so I quit feeling bad quickly.  I thought it would be wise to watch the doc take this thing out of her head so I can do it in the future.  It is looking like this might be the year of the ticks.  He grabbed the body, near the head with a pair of tweezers and gently pulled.  The tick's legs started flailing, I tried to suppress the shivers and did pretty good, but one got out and he agreed it's a little unnerving.  Well, it didn't matter how long he held on to that tick, it was stubborn, it wouldn't come out on it's own.  The doctor ended up pulling harder and the tick kept a hold of Jessica's skin, which ended up peeling off.  I held a cup.  The doctor put in the tick, still holding Jessica's skin and I put the lid on it.  The doctor picked up the cup and accidentally threw it at Jessica, lol.  I think he got a little heebie-jeebie'ish himself.  Of course, he just pretended to be a little clumsy.

Dermnet.com

Whew, all over right?  Nope.  I just came home and thought I'd check Jasper again.  Three!  Three ticks I have to get off of him.  He won't sit still so looks like I'll be waiting for someone to get home and help me.  More of the waiting game.  TICK-tock, TICK-tock.  This really BUGS me.  Excuse me while I go scratch.

FAKE MISSION CALL- The parents get back!

Linking up with Emmy Mom and Kmama for Proud Mommy Moments!




Have you ever known one of those adorable kids who can get away with anything because not only are they a charmer but because they keep their parents laughing so hard they can't scold them?  That's my son, Kalten (pronounced Call-ten) Michael Browning.  I may as well tell you now that my husband's name is Kevin Browning.  You'll want to remember these names as I give you a little example of what I'm talking about.  Just before graduation last year, a teacher came to all the seniors to make sure their names were spelled correctly for the stadium reader board.  Another teacher came around with a list to make sure names were correct for when they were read off for their diploma acceptance.  Enter my son and his creative way of mixing things up a bit.  Turn on the charm and the innocent boyish grin.  (This has fooled SO many people- including me- and I never seem to really learn my lesson.)

Kalten very slyly changed his name completely for the reader board- to my husbands name. 

Then he talked the teacher into believing that we'd left one of his names off of his school records because they never provide enough space on the paperwork we fill out at the beginning of each year.  I'm sure he smiled a lot, flashed those baby blues and the teacher bought right into it.  Imagine all the expressions of the many family members present and quite a few friends watching their own kids graduate when they called, Kalten ANDREW Michael Browning and my son bounded up the stairs with a big smile and a proud look on his face and the reader board above him said, "Congratulations Kevin Browning.  You've graduated!"  By the way.  My husband received more than one congrats email and facebook message over the next couple days....too bad no one sent money too.

Kevin and I finally got him back.  AND GOOD!  Kalten is going on a mission for our church and had been waiting for the day he'd find out where he was going.  Family and friends gathered and only a couple people knew mom and dad had something up our sleeves---Well, see for yourself.  Enjoy this as much as we did.

I am very proud of Kalten for having fun and enjoying life, but also for making the very unselfish decision to 
serve the Lord for two years.

Jessica

My baby is 13 today!  Officially a teenager.  Jessica (or Jaide as many of us call her) is an amazing, funny girl.  So let me share some fun facts.

Isn't she beautiful?

She was a momma's girl.  She cried when I left her with dad or anyone else.  Wouldn't let grandma pick her up until she was two.

She never crawled, she bear walked and it was pretty dang cute. 

I wanna squeeze her like that

She fell asleep everywhere, in her highchair, on the stairs, most often on the potty. 

She's a planner.  She has her whole life planned out on paper.  Her goals, her kids names, the order they'll come, her rules (which has been a blessing because when she doesn't like ours I can usually point out 

that she's written it down as one of the rules for her own kids.)  She even knows what her and 

her husband will do for a living.

I asked her once, what she'll do if her husband doesn't like the names she's chosen she replied, 

"I'll let him choose the last name."

She hates dishes.  Her future husband will be willing to do dishes or she won't marry him.  

She says it's a deal breaker.

She's a funny girl.  ALWAYS making us laugh!

Jaide's 12th Birthday

Kindergarten graduation

She's very brave, forgiving and kind.  Last year some "friends" decided to trick her into drinking alcohol at school.  Their goal was to  make the

 'Mormon girl' do something she wouldn't have otherwise.  

Their plan worked - when she found out what had happened she was crushed.  She wanted them to know that she'd rather no friends than friends 

who'd want her to lower her standards.  

After a lot of prayer and crying it was determined (with Jessica's permission) to get law enforcement in on it.  The girls were held accountable 

for what they'd done, enough to get the message across.  

Then she chose to not press charges as she felt they'd learned their lesson.  

A teacher called me and said that the kids in her class were 

                                       talking about it and they respected Jessica for how she handled the situation. 

                                            They felt she was brave and forgiving and didn't feel they could      

                                            react the same way if it was them.  I was VERY proud of her.

Jessica is great at sports.  Her favorites are volleyball, basketball and tennis.  She's a fast runner as well but chooses the first three sports as seasons overlap with track and cross country.  In basketball this year, she made more points than the rest of her team put together.  

She was team captain for basketball and co-team-captain for volleyball.  

She holds the records at her old elementary school for the most laps run in a day and for the year.  

She ran track last year and her coach accidentally put her in the wrong event.  

She was running around the track and suddenly there were hurdles in her way.  

She'd never leaped one before.  She didn't let that fluster her too much...she took third place.

Jessica is quick to make people feel loved.  She's very aware of people around her and loves to go with me to do things for others, especially if it's a secret.

This is right next to her bed

Jessica has also been reading the Book of Mormon.  She's very adamant about reading and saying her prayers each night.  She has this hanging by her bed.  She's almost done with Alma and is excited that understanding is starting to come to her better.  

Happy Birthday, Jaide!  I love you.

Jessica (left) and her sisters Neicia and McKenna

Jaide and Santa

Jessica 

Jessica and uncle Jared just off his mission

Jessica in the beautiful sweater great grandma Anderson made her

Jessica just 3 days old

Jessica with Lexi and Cindy

Jessica and grandma Anderson (Fishin' grandma)

Jessica at our new property

Kittens and mean moms

Do you think some birthday gifts are inappropriate to give a kid?

What about this gift?

.

 Maybe I'm just ornery.  I've never really been a cat lover anyway.  A few years ago if you'd have asked me what my favorite kind of cat was I'd have said flat ones. (Actually this happened, the person I said that to lost a lot of respect for me, :\  In my defense I was kidding.  I'm much kinder now.  I don't joke about the demise of cats.  I just don't need more of them.  One is enough, we have quite the prima donna of cats already- and I have the allergies to prove it.  She meows at the front door, I let her in and she walks through the house to the back door and meows to get out.  Seriously?  The cat can't walk around the house?  And those of you in my ward may remember the little visitor we had that interrupted sacrament meeting a couple years ago.  Yeah, that was a great adventure and highlight of my week.  Check it out if you want a good laugh.

Tuesday Jessica came home with a kitten that one of her friends had given her as a birthday present!  Evidently, this friend planned it before hand and had taken it to a friends house near the school so she could run over there right after school and get it to Jessica.  Luckily, Jessica's tennis match was cancelled because of rain- I can't imagine what she'd have done with a kitten during that time.  Then she snuck it on the bus to bring it home.

The second she walked in the house with it I was stunned.  Who gives a live animal without talking to the parents first?  I asked if this girls mom knew.  Evidently, she did.  I have a sly suspicion it's the mom's way of getting rid of it since her friend had originally wanted to keep it and the mom said no, but that's speculation.  Anyway, I'm the bad guy now.  We already have a dog and a cat (which I end up feeding) and just can't deal with another pet.  My husband got home moments later and, thankfully, agreed with me that we didn't need another pet.  In fact he said, "Get it out of the house quick before they name it and bond."  We didn't make it before they'd snapped some photos, but I thought the bonds were still weak.  Jessica and I took it to the pound.  They told us it would be gone quickly- people always want cute, little, "fixed" kittens.  I don't think that helped Jessica feel better about it that night, but it made me feel better.  They, too, were shocked that someone had given the kitten as a gift without my permission.  It made me feel much better about getting rid of my daughters birthday present.  I think she's forgiven me since then.  And I have to give her credit for that, I know even though she handled it well she was upset inside.  She's wanted her own pet for years.  My sweet girl kissed me good-bye in front of the kids at the bus stop this morning...her idea.  No cats were present.

Linking up with Emmy today...Go on by and see her (click the link below).  Feel free to blog about what your own kids have done to make you proud, or horrified if that's more applicable.

Lazy Stay-At-Home-Moms

I have been thinking of Hilary Rosen's comment about Ann Romney "never working a day in her life".  Okay maybe she didn't mean it the way it came out, maybe she was talking about working out of the home, maybe she just spoke before thinking.  We've all done that.  But this did create a stir and bring up a not so new misconception of stay-at-home-moms.  "Satan is always attempting to undermine the most precious element of a woman's divine nature—the nature to nurture. "Mothers and Daughters," Ensign, May 2010, 20  I see this as just another attempt.  At first I was irritable.  Now I'm not.  I got it all out on my tablet while I waited for my daughter to play her tennis match yesterday.  Yes, it's a bit sarcastic.  Please forgive me.  It was a much better option that egging Hilary R's house.

Ms. Rosen,

I'd like to help you feel better about the comment you're getting so much back-lash for.  I, like Ann Romney, am a stay-at-home-mom.  I think if you could see a day at my house it would give you something to show others- trust me it will verify what you said is true.

I do absolutely nothing but play on facebook and eat all day, well, I do throw in a TV show here or there too.  I'm very fortunate to have a husband that supports me in this life style.  It doesn't bother him at all that while he's working hard to earn a living I'm laying around the house or spending that hard-earned money on clothes at the mall.  I am also fortunate to not have to do laundry.  I've declared our home a nudist colony and took care of that problem long ago- can you imagine doing laundry for 7 people?   A never ending job!  I also order out for meals so I don't have to wash dishes.  That has really made my life easy.  I had a drinking fountain installed so we don't have glasses to wash either, cause heaven knows no one can use the same glass over and over.  Just like the oven, I have self-cleaning toilets, whew!  Thank heavens for that because without me working we could never afford a maid.

What about the children you ask?  That's easy.  When they were potty-training I sent them to daycare.  That messy job is NOT for me.  You wouldn't blame me if you had 5 kids in 7 years either.  Trust me.  They're very well behaved, never fight, always pick up their belongings and fend for themselves so I really don't need to do anything for them.  They're all geniuses too so I never need to help with homework.  When they have problems they don't come to me, they have friends for that.  If they want to do a sport or extra curricular activity I just tell them to make sure they have their own rides because I certainly don't need to be there.  My presence isn't going to change the outcome of the game and besides they have coaches who support them, that's their job.

No, I don't want responsibility.   This gives me more time to spend at the salon and I never have to break my nails scrubbing floors or cabinets.  I'm sure this is why my husband is so supportive of my being at home.  I have much more time to spend being lazy eye-candy.

Trina Browning

After I wrote this I felt better.  Honestly, I don't need the approval of this woman or anyone else, to know that what I do is the most important work on this earth- and I doubt Ann Romney is so insecure that she needs it either.  President David O. McKay said, "This ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world.  (Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953, pp. 453-54)."

As a mom we start out carrying a child inside us for 9 (often uncomfortable) months.  As we begin to bring them into the world we start with "labor" which is symbolic of the work we'll be doing for the next, well, forever.  Once a mom always a mom.  As we hold that tiny baby in our arms we realize that our labors are all worth it.  And so it goes over the years.  We lose sleep trying to calm a fussy baby.  Then when they finally fall asleep we watch their precious little features react with their dreams and listen to their quiet breathing and sighs and our hearts melt.  When they plug the toilet with a roll of toilet paper and a cell phone we're upset (and work hard to fix the clog, keep our temper under control etc.) but when they climb up on our lap and put their chubby little hands on the side of our face we remember that it's all worth it.  And so it continues even into adulthood.  The same cycle.  Labor then reward and realization that it's worth it and you'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Many of us make the choice to be a stay-at-home-mom when we do have other options.  In the Miss Teen pageant in Hollywood CA, many years ago, an agent heard me sing and approached us about getting me on tour opening for already successful artists.  I was thrilled!  I'd dreamed of this but didn't actually think it would ever happen.  It was so  tempting.  But something inside told me if I did this I would not bring my future children up the way God intended.  I chose to be a mom instead of follow that dream career.  I don't regret it, and never have, although I miss performing on stage terribly.  I'd love to just belt it out in front of a few hundred thousand people but I know what I've chosen to do is much more a worthy calling.  I chose to bring my children into this world and I choose to raise them.  Now this isn't to say I haven't worked outside the home, even now I teach First Aid and CPR classes on the side, but I've done everything I can to be home.  For the last three years I've taken care of a live-in disabled person.  I did daycare and preschool for 14 years.  But not consecutively, when things have gotten rough and I couldn't find enough kids to watch I've had to work, even full time to help make ends meet.  I was the trainer and supervisor of a Market Research company for 3 years and have over 6 years in customer service and collections.  I don't criticize anyone for having to work.  I've been there, and I know how hard it is to have double duty, especially when you want to be at home with your kids.  I don't criticize those who choose to work, although I do feel sorry for your children.  Not because you're not there with them, but because your heart is not there with them.  Some may think that's harsh of me- it's honest though.  The most important thing we can be in this lifetime is the parent of our child.


" 'After all, to do well those things which God ordained to be the common lot of all mankind, is the truest greatness. To be a successful father or a successful mother is greater than to be a successful general or a successful statesman.' (Juvenile Instructor, 15 Dec. 1905, p. 752.) . . 


 I spent many years as a daycare mom feeling I cared more about children than some of their parents did.  I remember poor Kelly who was in my daycare from 7am until 6pm each night.  When she turned 5 she asked that her mom stay home for one day and play with her.  That's what she wanted for her birthday.  Instead she got a bike among other toys (which she opened at 6am so mom could get to work on time).  The day she turned 5 she cried on and off for the whole day.  No matter how much I loved her, played with her, cuddled her, tried to distract her, I was not a replacement for her mom.  It broke my heart.  This was a pattern in their lives.  Kelly's mom had her child and her career.  She had it all.  Too bad Kelly didn't.

"If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next."Happiness, Your Heritage," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 119

This is not the life of the lazy.  Being a mom takes time, effort, labor.

One last thing.  Ms. Rosen made a comment about Mitt Romney listening to his wife who was a stay-at-home-mom and out of touch with the world as being old fashioned.  I'd like to say that old fashioned isn't always bad.  Some things that are old fashioned should stay.  After all, if something's not broke don't fix it.  Like integrity, hard work, and monogamy, good ol' fashioned family values isn't something to change.  I hope all husbands will listen to their wives, whether they work in or out of the home.

I feel sorry for you Ms. Rosen.  It may be presumptuous of me but I fear that in your pursuit of self-fulfillment you've missed something very vital to the salvation and happiness of the souls around you.  You've forgotten to appreciate the choices of other very strong women and recognize them for what they are.  You've forgotten that we are all sisters who need to support each other rather than criticize, this life isn't easy for any of us.  We may each go about things differently than each other but we are all important, and all daughter's of a God that loves us.  Yes, even you.  Please take it easy on those daughters that are doing his most noble work.

If you aren't tired of reading:  A few years ago I posted a humorous, ten minute period when my kids get home from school.  It's the busiest time of my day.  Tell me if this isn't work.  Reposted from March 6, 2009.

(I’m using my kids middle names so only family will know which are brattier than others.)


Lance: Mom I hungry.
Michael: Geesh, can’t you even say hi to mom before you start asking her for things? Hi mom.
Me: Hi guys. I’ll come get you a snack in just a minute. I'm finishing up this resume for PCS.
Lance: I’m really hungry I don’t think a snack’s going to do it. When’s dinner?
Me: Not until 6:00. (Michael is very put off by his brothers persistence.) Phone rings.
Marie: (Looking out the window) Mom Daultin’s dad’s here. (30 minutes early).
Lance: What’s for dinner?
Me: Taco soup.
Me: Come on Daultin let’s get your coat and lunch box.
Nicole: Mom, Isabelle’s on the phone for you. (My one child not home yet.)
Me: Tell her I’ll be there in just a minute.
Lance: Can’t you get me something now? You’re already in the kitchen.
Me: You can see I have something to do. I told you you'll have to wait a minute.
Lance: Breathes loud very put out by my lack of concern for his near death experience with anorexia.
Nicole: Mom, Isabelle says she’s in a hurry.
Me: Tell her so am I.
Me: (To daycare dad) Sorry, lot’s going on. He had a good day. Then to Daultin, By sweetie, I’ll see you tomorrow (Which was totally wrong, he doesn’t come on Friday’s). Bye. I see them out the door. I run to phone.
Me: Hey, what’s up?
Isabelle: Instead of riding the other bus I was wondering if I can stay and try out for the talent show with Jasmine cause we decided we’ll do the song we’re doing together for festival and Mrs. Forman said she’ll play for us and I think we’ll make it for sure cause we sound better than anyone else so far and I know you can’t get me easy with daycare so I’ll get a ride with Jasmine and it’ll be okay even though you don’t know them because I promise they’re really nice and Jasmine always talks about Jesus so I know they are good and I really want to do this mom, pleas-o, pleas-o, pleas-o, pleas-o………………………(She talks a mile a minute and everything is one sentence just like I wrote it.)

Marie:  Mom, Daultin's back, he says he needs a hug.

Me:  Come in here Daultin.
Me: What time will you be done?
Isabelle: 4:30.
Me: If I let you stay do you promise you’ll work on your 13th Article of Faith when you get home?

Isabelle: Yes I promise.

Daultin:  Can I do a run and hug?

Me:  Just a second Isabelle.  Okay Daultin (as I brace myself against the table- he runs jumps at me and hugs me)

Daultin:  I love you.

Me:  Love you too hon.  See you tomorrow.  (I scoot him toward the door, then to Isabelle I say)
I’ll be there to get you at 4:30. Please be out front so we don’t have to get out and come find you.   I’ll be in a hurry.
Isabelle: Okay, thanks mom. Love you.
Me: Love you too, bye.

Jamie:  When I go can I do a run and hug too?

Me:  Yes, we do that everyday right?

Jamie:  Uh-huh.
Me: You can all have these cookies and some milk.
Lance: Seriously mom, that’s not going to be enough. I need something more.
Me: Then have an apple or carrot sticks.
Lance: Mom!
Me: You aren’t hungry, you want to load up on a bunch of crap right before dinner.
Lance: Dinner won’t be ready for 2 hours.
Me: You can always eat Top Ramen.
Nicole: Mom do I have volleyball tonight?
Lance: Be quiet I was talking to mom.
Nicole: Don’t tell me to be quiet.
Me: Both of you be quiet please. Talk nicer to each other. Yes, you have volleyball tonight. No, I will not find anything else for you to eat. You have a big enough selection.
Nicole: Do you think dad will come cause they’re going to let the parents play and he’s really good and no offense but last time when you played you didn’t really do that good.
Me: Oh, well then make sure you ask your dad. I don’t want you to be embarrassed.
Marie: That probably hurt mom’s feelings Nicole.
Me: Actually it wasn’t very tactful, but right now I don’t think I care.
Michael: I need you to sign some papers for tennis.
Marie: Oh and I need you to sign my agenda.
Me: Bring them here. Nicole, why aren’t you doing study time?
Nicole: Oh, I forgot.
Marie: My orchestra teacher said that she paid for my group to perform at festival on Saturday and now my group can’t go so she wants $1 from each of us.
Me: Excuse me?
Marie: Don’t worry, I told her since it was everyone else in the group that cancelled I shouldn’t have to pay for it and she agreed.
Me: Why didn’t she ask us if you could do something on a Saturday before she paid for it? (I hate these types of things- It’s the principle)
Marie: I don’t know.
Nicole: Can you read this tongue twister really fast?
Me: Bed Spreaders spread spreads on beds. Bread Spreaders spread butters on breads. And that Bed Spreader better watch out how he’s spreading or that Bread Spreader’s sure going to butter his bedding.
Nicole: No. Fast.

I'd love to know your thoughts, feel free to comment.

A Mission!

Last night Kalten had his interview with the Stake President and his mission papers have been submitted!  I'm so excited to be the mom of a missionary.  I couldn't care less where he's going, I'm just thrilled that he wants to serve the Lord for 2 years and that he's worthy to go.  In this time and place that's quite a feat.  I'm very proud of him.

As most people know this kid has kept us on our toes and continues to still.  I think when he gets his call, or his 19th birthday which is very soon I'll do a big ol' write up of all the silliness and awesomeness he's brought to this family.  Until then, we'll just have fun making guesses where the Lord is going to send him.  I keep teasing him with Oregon, Salt Lake, or the Pocatello, ID mission.  Anything nearby.  I have a motive here, not just to tease.  If he's thinking somewhere close-by, then no matter where he gets called (unless it's one of those places) he'll be thrilled.

 It's that time to brag about your kids (or tell the embarrassing things they did to you this week).  Click on the link below and go to Emmy Mom and then get bragging!