I am writing this blog with my 13 year old daughter, Jessica. One, so I can spend time with an awesome girl. Two, so I get this story right. I found out some rather shocking information about one of her classes tonight. I'm not sure if shock or amusement is stronger right now. As she told me about this last class I caught myself listening with my mouth hanging wide enough that I could have doubled as a mailbox, I'm sure. I couldn't shut it either. With each sentence I grew more stunned.
She has a class called Grossology. Ever heard of that? It's exactly what it what it sounds like. Last week they studied barf. They ground up Raisin Bran, oats, applesauce, Hershey's chunks and warmed it up. So it was true to vomit temperature, then they ate it. No, I'm not kidding. And it doesn't end there.
A few days later they studied poo. You heard me- POO! They categorized animal feces and used real food comparisons. Evidently, elk poo looks a lot like coconut covered marshmallows. Mouse poop was chocolate sprinkles. Rat dung is similar to black jelly beans. Rabbit poop was brown M&Ms. Jack rabbit however was chocolate covered raisins. Beaver crap looks like Tootsie-rolls. Deer poop- Hershey's kisses. Human poo? You guessed it, Baby Ruths. Then the kids were given samples of each in a dog poop waste bag. Mmm, a real treat.
The school officer came in as a guest speaker and told them a story of how he solved a burglary case using human waste. Rather than telling you the whole story let me just give you some advice. 1. If ever you decide to burglarize anyone don't use the toilet unless you plan on wiping and flushing. 2. When the officer asks you to "spread 'em", ask for a court order.
What are your kids learning in school? Maybe you should ask.
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